


Love of the Ocean

by Sir_Weston



Series: Steven and Lapis [2]
Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Awkward Kissing, Awkward Romance, Beating, F/F, F/M, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Non-Explicit Sex, Unrequited Love, Unresolved Romantic Tension
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-02-09
Updated: 2017-05-19
Packaged: 2018-09-23 00:49:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 6
Words: 9,425
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9632330
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sir_Weston/pseuds/Sir_Weston
Summary: Now that Steven and Lapis Lazuli have addressed their feelings for each other, things can only get better from here, right? But Jasper is still out there, and she wants Lapis all to herself. And she's willing to do anything to keep her this time.This is a sequel to my story "Ocean Waves" so read that first if you haven't. Also, this story will be a bit darker than my last story.





	1. Deep Blue

**Author's Note:**

> There is implied things, but nothing explicit! I don't want this story to go too insane!

It had been an eventful week for me. The Gems had gone away on a mission and had sent me to stay at the barn with Lapis Lazuli and Peridot until they came back. I was sure I was going to have a fun time, Peridot and Lapis are always fun, but I had no idea what the week had planned for me. The first couple of days Connie came for a visit, and I played with her. Then, the day after she went home, Lapis mysteriously disappeared. Peridot and I found that she had been kidnapped by Jasper for whatever reason, and she had taken the blue gem to a hidden cave. When we found them, Jasper threatened to shatter Lapis, and Lapis… confessed something to me. I managed to free her, and we had fused for the first time into Azurite. We defeated Jasper and returned to the barn.  
So, what was it Lapis had confessed to me? Well, she told me she loves me. And, without really thinking about it, I told her I love her, too. And I do. I love Lapis. I hadn’t really thought about it until she said it to me. We had bonded instantly when I had been given her mirror, and I guess I didn’t realize I had fallen in love with her.  
Lapis lay beside me now on the mattress, her arms gently wrapped around me, as I snuggled up against her. She was breathing softly, as if she were asleep, but because Gems don’t need to sleep, I wondered if she were faking it or something. She had curled her body around me, and I felt warm in her embrace. I let out a happy little sigh. Part of me wanted to stay there in her arms for the rest of my life.  
As the sun came up, I gently squeezed Lapis. In response, she squeezed me back, showing me she was, in fact, awake. I yawned and sat up, letting go of her. She looked up at me.  
“How are you this morning, Steven?” she asked.  
I stretched my arms. “I feel refreshed!” I replied. I gently pressed up against her. “Did you, um,” I paused, having not really thought about what to say. I couldn’t ask if she slept well, gems don’t sleep. I decided to rephrase the question. “Were you warm enough last night?”  
She smiled at me. “Of course,” she answered.  
I was about to say something more, when Peridot came up to us.  
“Morning, Steven!” she greeted, “Lazuli.”  
I smiled and greeted her cheerfully, but Lapis looked somewhat annoyed for whatever reason. I wondered why. They were getting along, right?  
I decided to ignore it and turned to Lapis. “I know this is kind of sudden, Lapis,” I said, “But I was wondering if we could fuse back into Azurite today? I want to see what we look like!”  
Lapis, after giving her roommate an “I really wish you weren’t here right now” look, turned to me and smiled warmly.  
“Anything you want, Steven,” she replied.  
Excited, I took her in my arms, hugging her tightly, and our gems began to glow.

…

I was a little surprised that I was formed again so soon. I figured it would be a while before I was needed again. But, nonetheless, I was a little eager to actually see what I looked like. Ducking to avoid hitting my head on the doorway, I went outside to look at my reflection in the pool. I must say, I felt I was a rather good looking fusion.  
My hair was a little longer than Lapis’, it fell just past my shoulders. Its style was a combination of Lapis and Steven’s hair. My gemstones were a rich blue with a little bit of pink swirled in. I failed to mention this the first time, but I had a third eye that sat above my left eye. I was quite slim, and my skin was the same rich blue as my gem. My deep blue dress was covered by Steven’s shirt, which had turned a slightly darker shade. I was awesome!  
Peridot walked over (no doubt to admire my amazing form,) and looked up at me. She gave me a curious look.  
“What is it like to be fused?” she wondered.  
I thought for a moment. What was it like to be fused? I smiled. “It’s amazing,” I replied, “I feel like a completely new gem. A gem made of Steven and Lapis’s love and trust. It’s a wonderful feeling.”  
Peridot didn’t respond, and I wondered if she was taking this in. I stretched my arms and decided to unfuse for now. I didn’t want to overstay my welcome.

…

Later that evening, I was ready for bed. Lapis walked over and sat down next to me. I smiled at her and gently pressed against her. We wrapped our arms around each other, and then something took hold of me. As Lapis looked down at me, I reached up and gently kissed her lips. I closed my eyes and let the warmth of her lips seep into me. I felt her gently kissing me back, and I welcomed her.  
I pulled away and laid down, staring up at her, and she smiled down at me. She let out a soft giggle.  
“What was that for?” she asked, referring to the kiss. I shrugged.  
“I just really like kissing you,” I replied. She smiled at me, then she laid down next to me. She was immediately wrapped in my arms, and she wrapped me up in hers. I sighed and closed my eyes, falling into a deep sleep.  
I don’t know when I started dreaming, but I did dream that night. I was running through a forest, looking for something, but I didn’t know what. I felt a strange desperation coursing through me, and I knew that I had to find whatever it was I was looking for. Whatever it was, it was very important to me, and I felt like I couldn’t live without it. It was strange. I felt like this was love, but it was a different kind of love. What was this? I began to wonder if I was even me. Maybe I had linked minds with someone. But who?  
I was woken by someone gently shaking me. Yawning, I opened my eyes and saw that it was Lapis. She smiled down at me, but there was just a tiny bit of sadness in her eyes.  
“Steven,” she said to me quietly, “The Crystal Gems are back. They’re here to take you home.”  
Two things immediately hit me. The Gems were back! I was excited to see them after almost a whole week. But then I also realized why Lapis seemed sad. I was going to go home, and we wouldn’t get to hang out again for a while. And now that she had confessed her love for me, I could see how that could be hard on her.  
I smiled at her. “Cheer up, Lapis,” I encouraged, “It’s not like we’ll never see each other again. And if you start to miss me too badly, you can come visit me at my house.”  
Lapis forced herself to relax and smiled gently back at me. “Ok, Steven,” she said.  
Peridot and Lapis helped pack up my stuff as my dad and the gems got out of the van and came over to greet me.  
“Yo, Steven!” Amethyst exclaimed, running over, and trapping me in a hug, “Did ya miss us? I know I missed my little buddy!”  
“I did miss you guys,” I confessed, a little choked because Amethyst was squeezing me so hard. As Pearl and my dad came over to say hi as well, Garnet walked past us to speak to Peridot and Lapis.  
“Thank you for watching over Steven for us,” she said to them.  
“No problem!” Peridot scoffed, waving a dismissive hand.  
“It was our pleasure,” Lapis added.  
As the gems packed my stuff into the van, I walked back over to Peridot and Lapis. Without saying anything, I hugged them both, Peridot looking a little surprised, and Lapis looking pleased. I gave Lapis an extra-long hug.  
“See you guys later,” I said.  
I got in the van and watched out the back window as the barn started to disappear.  
“Hey, Shtoo-ball, did you have a nice week at the barn?” my dad asked me.  
As I watched the barn shrink into the distance, I thought back on my week, and I smiled. “Yeah,” I replied, “I did.”


	2. Under a Bridge

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lapis goes out for a flight and runs into trouble.

I felt a deep sadness as I watched Steven drive away. I was glad that I had told him my true feelings for him. But I wish I had gotten to spend more time with him afterwards. Why did the gems have to return so soon? Couldn’t they have spent an extra day or two on their mission? I sighed and looked over at Peridot who was still standing beside me.  
“Well, that was one heck of a week!” she said, nudging me cheerfully.  
“Really? That’s all you have to say?” I asked, sighing. She looked at me, confused. I shook my head. “Never mind,” I muttered. I turned and went back into the barn.  
The mattress Steven had been sleeping on was still laying on the floor, and I walked over and sat down on it. I didn’t want to put it away yet, and it still felt warm. I laid down, relishing the warmth coming from it. If I closed my eyes, I could imagine that Steven was still there.  
I opened my eyes when I heard Peridot walk into the barn. She walked towards the back of the barn and started messing with some machinery or something. She was always messing with something.  
A strange feeling came over me all of a sudden. I felt like I couldn’t sit there doing nothing, or I would go crazy. I had to get out of the barn.  
“Peridot, I’m going out for a flight,” I called to the green gem, “Don’t wait up for me!”  
I heard a muffled response from her, and then I walked out of the barn. Spreading my wings, I jumped into the air and flew off, flying over the country side. The wind rushed through my hair, and I felt alive as I flew. My spirits lifted, and I wondered if this is how humans felt when they were in love. I breathed in the fresh air as I raced through the area and into a wooded area. I remembered it as the forest that Steven had showed me when I had first come back to Earth after trying to leave for a second time.  
I couldn’t help but feel all my worries melt away. I had told Steven my feelings. He had said he loved me. And I could see him any time I wanted. I felt my sadness slipping away. And just when I was deciding to fly towards the beach, something suddenly lashed out from below me, catching my ankle and pulling me out of the sky.  
Leaves and branches rushed up at me, scratching my face and body, as I was pulled to the ground. Coughing and panting, I tried to stand, but I was pulled down again. I felt something large push me to the ground, keeping me there.  
“So, decided to show yourself, huh, Lapis?” a voice I knew all too well growled in my ear, “I knew you would break away from Rose eventually. She can’t save you this time.”  
“Jasper,” I whispered, “It can’t be! You’re still here?!”  
“Of course I am,” Jasper said quietly to me, “I’ve been waiting for Rose to leave so I could get you alone. You’re finally mine, Lapis.”  
She leaned over me as I tried to get away. She scooped me up in one arm and pressed me against her. I shuddered as she brought me closer and whispered in my ear.  
“You know what?” she murmured, “You were right all along. I guess gems really can fall in love. As I fought you and Rose, and I saw how determined and strong you were, I found myself really falling for you.”  
“What do you mean?” I asked. My voice was barely above a whisper, and I just couldn’t look Jasper in the face as she grinned at me.  
“I think I may have fallen in love with you,” she quietly hissed in my ear. I felt a cold shiver run up my spine. I felt her press her mouth to the side of my neck as she held me close to  
her. What made it worse for me was how gentle Jasper was being.  
“You can’t be serious,” I whispered, “You can’t be in love with me.”  
To counter me, she gently tipped my head up by my chin so I would look at her. Then she leaned down and gently kissed me. I shuddered at her touch. I wanted to break away from her, but I couldn’t. She kissed me so gently and so deeply, I could practically feel her feelings pouring through. She kissed me so long, I thought for a moment she had forgotten I was there. She finally pulled back and she looked at me. I was breathing hard.  
“Now do you understand?” Jasper asked me, “I’ve fallen for you.”  
Before I could say anything, she suddenly swept me up in her arms, holding me close to her chest. My breath was coming in short bursts, and I couldn’t even fight back, I was so confused as to what was going on. She started to carry me through the forest, and I had no idea where we were going. We suddenly came across a small bridge over a dried-up river. She took me under the bridge and set me down. Then she sat next to me and pressed me against her.  
“What do you plan to do to me?” I asked quietly.  
Jasper chuckled. “I plan to keep you with me,” she said, “Forever.”  
A strange, sad sound escaped from me. Jasper looked down at me, and I tried to hide my face from her, but she forced me to look at her. She saw the tears in my eyes.  
“What’s the matter, my Lapis?” she asked me. And I could hear concern in her voice.  
“I don’t want to stay here,” I murmured, “I want to see Steven again.”  
Jasper let out a silent hiss. “Steven,” she growled, “Rose. Whoever it is! Trying to take everything from me! Not this time!”  
In a rage, Jasper suddenly forced me to the ground, pinning my shoulders down. She hovered over me, her face inches from mine. “You’re not going anywhere,” she snarled at me, “You’re mine.”  
She leaned down and roughly kissed me. Then she sat up and put her legs on either side of my waist, and I felt fear rising inside of me. I gasped in fear as Jasper suddenly ripped my dress, tearing it up the middle. My eyes widened. What was she going to do to me?  
“I’m going to make you want me,” she hissed at me. Then she reached behind my neck and started untying my dress.


	3. Out in the Forest

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steven goes out with Connie in the forest and finds something surprising!

I was excited when Connie asked me to go with her to the nearby woods to snap some photos. Apparently, she had an assignment where she had to take pictures of some local wild life. So, we hopped in my dad's van and drove out to the woods.

"I don't even know what lives in these woods," I confessed to Connie, "I, uh, don't really come out here a lot."

Connie giggled. "It's ok, Steven," she said, "We can learn what wild life there is together!" I laughed.

"Yeah!" I agreed, "Maybe we'll find a bear!"

"Boy, I sure hope not!" my dad called from the front, "If there are any bears, we are immediately leaving!"

"I'm sure there are no bears in these woods, Mr. Universe," Connie said, trying to calm him. I was grateful that she was so level headed.

Eventually we pulled over to the side of the road, and Connie and I hopped out with my dad right behind us. Connie pulled out her camera and carefully started sneaking into the woods. Excited, I followed behind, trying to be as quiet as her.

She snapped a few pictures of some of the plant life nearby before moving on. I didn't know what kind of plants they were, but I'm sure Connie found them interesting. She hushed me as I followed her and gestured to a small group of birds.

"Ooh!" I whispered, "What kind of birds are those? Are they super rare?"

Connie let out a soft giggle. "Hardly," she whispered back, "They're just sparrows." She clicked a few photos before moving on.

It was a fun afternoon, exploring the woods with Connie. I almost didn't want it to end. When we got back to the van, she had filled up her entire memory card with pictures.

"Man! I didn't know you could take that many pictures!" I said as we got back in the van. We both buckled in as my dad started the engine.

"Me neither," Connie agreed, "I'm sure these will be great for my project! I have so many pics to choose from!" As we drove along, she glanced out the window and suddenly gasped.

"Mr. Universe! Stop the car!" she exclaimed.

Dad slammed on the brakes, and if I hadn't been wearing a seat belt, I would have sailed out the window. "Huh? What?" my dad looked around, confused.

"Connie, what's going on?" I wondered.

She didn't answer me as she unbuckled herself and quickly got out. Panicking, I followed her and saw her racing into the forest. "Connie!" I shouted, "What's going on?"

Connie stopped a short distance away, standing by a stump and looking shocked. I had no idea what she was looking at until I reached her.

Lapis Lazuli was laying, unconscious, and beaten looking by the stump. Her dress was torn and undone, and she looked like she had been attacked. Connie quickly knelt and tied the top of her dress back up, before looking up at me.

"Steven, what happened to her?" she asked me, shaken, "You said she was fine when you left the barn!"

"She was!" I replied, hastily, "I don't know what happened!" I quickly knelt next to her. "Oh man, we've got to get her back to the temple! DAD!"

"I'm on it," my dad said right behind me. He walked around us and carefully picked up Lapis in his arms. He started to carry her back to the van and Connie and I quickly followed. He gently lay her in the back seat, and we set off for home.

None of us said anything on the drive back. I sat with Connie in the back seat, with Lapis carefully laying between us. I stared sadly at Lapis' face, wondering what could have done this to her.

When we got back to the temple, my dad took Lapis in his arms and carried her inside. I stayed outside with Connie for a moment more.

"Sorry this had to happen, Connie," I muttered to her, "I would've loved to hang out with you more, but I have to make sure Lapis is ok."

"I understand," she said, forcing a smile, "You have to take care of your friend. I would feel guilty if I made you hang out with me instead."

I gave her a grateful smile and was about to respond when my dad walked up to us.

"I hope you don't mind, Shtoo-ball, I put her in your bed," he told me, "I figured she would be most comfortable there."

"Thanks, dad," I replied.

"All right, Connie, you ready to go home?" he asked.

"Yes, sir," Connie answered. Before she left, however, she quickly leaned over and gave me a hug. "Bye Steven," she said, "Let me know when Lapis wakes up, ok?"

"Will do, Connie," I replied, shyly. I stood and sadly watched them drive away before going back up to the beach house.

The Crystal Gems weren't around at the moment, and the house was deathly quiet. I walked up the stairs to see how Lapis was doing. She was curled upon my bed with about three blankets covering her, and with one hand covering her face. I sat next to her and gently pushed her hand off her face so I could look at her. Even with scratches and bruises on her face, she was still beautiful to me. Sighing, I lay down next to her, and I got under the blankets then wrapped myself in her arms. I wanted to do something to comfort her, but I didn't know how. I lay there for so long, wrapped in her arms, I fell asleep.

When I woke up, Amethyst, Pearl, and Garnet were all crouching in front of me, staring intently at me. Gasping awake, I quickly sat up, staring back at them with wide eyes.

"Hey, Steven!" Amethyst greeted, cheerfully, "Why is Lapis here, and why are you asleep next to her?"

"I can explain that," I said, hastily, "Connie and I found her injured in the woods. I don't know how she got this way."

Garnet looked past me at where Lapis was sleeping. "You want to make sure she's all right," she concluded, "That whatever attacked her doesn't do it again."

"Yeah," I replied, sadly looking down at Lapis. I was a little hesitant to say anything more. I hadn't told the Gems that I had fallen in love with Lapis yet. I didn't know how they would react to it, and I didn't want to freak them out.

"Does Peridot know she's here?" Pearl wondered, breaking me from my thoughts.

"I don't know," I replied, "She hasn't come by at all. Do you think she's worried? Maybe I should go tell her!" I started to get up, but Garnet put a hand on my shoulder.

"It's ok, Steven," she said, calmly, "You stay with your friend. We'll take care of things."

I felt myself relax a little. "Thanks, Garnet," I said.

As the three of them walked away, I briefly wondered if Garnet already knew of my feelings. With her future vision, she seemed to know everything about everyone.

Sighing, I laid back down and snuggled up to Lapis, taking her arms and wrapping myself in them. I hoped she would wake soon so I could ask her what had happened to her. I tried to stay awake, in case she stirred, but in the warmth of her arms, I couldn't help but fall asleep.

I had a disturbing dream while I slept. Flashing images and fractured screaming filled my mind, and I felt like I was going mad. I woke with a start, shaking with fear. I was so disturbed by my dream that it took me a few moments to realize that it was night time now, and there was no longer anyone lying next to me.

"Lapis?" I whispered, sitting up. There was movement by the window and I looked up to see Lapis standing, staring out of it. She seemed to have repaired her dress, and healed her scratches and bruises.

I felt great relief rise up in me. "Lapis!" I exclaimed, "You're ok!"

I was confused when she didn't react or turn to me. Instead, she simply sighed.

"Hi, Steven," she said in a sad voice. I frowned.

"Are you ok?" I asked, "What happened to you? I was really worried about you."

"I'm sorry," Lapis said, still in that sad tone of voice, "I was just trying to get away. I didn't want you to see me like that."

I stood up and walked over to her then wrapped my arms around her waist. "What happened, Lapis?" I wondered, "Why were you out in the forest?" I took her hand and lead her back to my bed.

She sighed as she sat down next to me. "I was just going out for a flight," she replied, "Just to feel the air. But I was suddenly pulled out of the air and attacked." She shivered. "It was Jasper again."

I felt my breath catch in my throat. Why couldn't Jasper leave Lapis alone? She was shaking beside me, as if the memory of what happened was still tormenting her. I gently put a hand on her arm.

"It's ok, Lapis," I told her, "You don't have to tell me right now if it's too painful for you." She smiled at me.

"Thank you, Steven," she said, "I appreciate it. I'll tell you sometime, but right now it's still too soon."

"I understand." I replied. Yawning, I laid down again, and Lapis laid next to me.

She wrapped her arms around me as I snuggled up to her. She still looked sad, but I reached up and gently kissed her mouth. I felt her start to relax as she kissed me back. I knew she was upset, and I wanted to make her as comfortable as possible. Instead of a brief kiss, I decided to kiss her longer and deeper than I had before. I felt her arms tighten around me.

When I pulled back and looked at her, her eyes were shining.

"I love you, Steven," she said quietly.

"I love you, too, Lapis," I replied. I gently laid my head on her chest as she continued to hold me. Before long, I was fast asleep.


	4. My Lapis

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steven takes Lapis out on the town and they have a talk. A talk about stuff.

I didn’t actually sleep that night. Gems don’t need to sleep, but I didn’t mind lying next to Steven while he slept. His head rested on my chest, and I was comforted by his gentle breathing. I could feel his heart beating in his chest. I had him wrapped in my arms, and I wouldn’t have minded holding him as long as he wanted.  
As I lay there with Steven, I suddenly heard a tap on the window, and I nearly leapt off the bed. Holding Steven tight to me, I looked over at the large window next to the bed, fearing that Jasper would be there, but it was only a branch being blown by the wind. I sighed and laid back down. There was a small cough, and I jumped again, but gentle hands were put on my shoulders to calm me.  
“Lapis,” Steven whispered to me through the darkness, “Are you ok? You woke me when you jumped up earlier.”  
I let out a deep sigh. “I’m sorry,” I murmured, “I was just startled, is all. I thought I heard…” I paused, not wanting to sound foolish. “Nothing. I’m sorry I woke you.”  
Steven stared at me through the darkness, and I could see the concern in his eyes. I was comforted when he gave me a gentle kiss, then laid back down. I let out a sigh, trying to calm myself. I heard Steven fall back asleep and I felt comforted.  
Jasper wouldn’t find me. Even if she did, I had Steven with me. We could keep each other safe.  
I must’ve fallen asleep at some point, because when I opened my eyes, it was morning. Steven was asleep on top of me (I don’t remember that happening) and he was breathing peacefully. I felt the faintest of smiles creep onto my face.  
I gently shook him until he woke, a yawn escaping from him. He lifted his head and looked at me sleepily.  
“Oh, good morning, Lapis!” he greeted with a yawn, “Sorry, I’m still a little tired.”  
I frowned a little. “I’m sorry,” I started.  
“No! No! It’s not your fault!” he insisted, “I’m always tired in the morning.” He sat up and gave me a little hug. “I promise.”  
Sighing a little, I allowed myself to smile. “Ok, Steven. If you say so.”  
Steven smiled at me then he got up and went to his bathroom to get ready for the day. I waited, sitting on his bed, and looking around the room. I had never been up to Steven’s room before. It really complimented his personality.  
I suddenly heard a door open, and someone came into the main room. I looked over the edge of the loft and saw that it was Pearl. She seemed to sense me staring at her, because she suddenly turned around and looked up at me.  
“Oh! Good morning, Lapis!” she said, a little startled, “Glad to see you awake! Where’s Steven?”  
“He’s in the bathroom,” I replied, blandly.  
Pearl stared up at me, as if expecting me to say more. “Um, we told Peridot where you are and what happened to you,” she told me.  
“Thank you,” I said, “She tends to worry if I’m gone for too long. I don’t want her to start panicking or anything.”  
“Indeed,” Pearl muttered a little awkwardly.  
We were both relieved when Steven came out of the bathroom at that moment, fully dressed and ready for the day. He spotted Pearl and smiled.  
“Hey Pearl!” he greeted cheerfully, “How are you this morning? Did you see that Lapis is awake now?”  
“Yes, Steven, I did notice that,” Pearl told him briskly. Without another word, she strode out the door. I wondered what she was doing, but I didn’t feel like asking.  
“Steven,” I called gently to him as he stared after Pearl.  
“Hm?”  
“Would it be all right if I stayed here for a few days?” I requested, “I don’t feel safe going back to the barn yet.”  
Steven smiled up at me. “Of course, you can!” he replied, “I’m sure the Gems won’t mind having you around! I know I do!”  
I couldn’t help let out a soft giggle. “Thank you, Steven,” I said. I watched as he walked up the steps to me. He sat down next to me and gently leaned on me.  
“So, what are you going to do while you’re here?” he wondered.  
I let out a heavy sigh. “I don’t know,” I admitted, “I would love to spend time with you, but I’m worried about Jasper finding me again.”  
“Don’t worry about that,” Steven encouraged, “I’ll stay by your side! I’ll make sure Jasper doesn’t come anywhere near you!”  
His enthusiasm made me smile. I leaned down and kissed him on the cheek. “You’re the best,” I told him.  
“I don’t like to brag,” he said, winking at me. I gave him a gentle nudge in the side.  
Steven suddenly stood up and took my hand. “Come on! Let’s go to the boardwalk! Steven needs breakfast!” he encouraged.  
“Can’t you eat here?” I wondered. Steven frowned at me.  
“I can,” he replied, “I choose not to. Come on!” He took my hand again and led me down the steps. I had no choice but to follow him.  
Steven took me out of the house and down the shore. I stuck close to him and kept nervously looking around, making sure Jasper was nowhere to be seen. Steven didn’t seem troubled at all, however, and watching him cheerfully walk along the shore made me relax, at least somewhat.  
Beach City was already starting to get busy, despite it being early. Steven led me to the donut store where the two teenagers whose names I don’t know worked.  
“Hey Sadie! Hey Lars!” Steven greeted them when he came in.  
“Steven,” the boy, Lars, muttered when he saw my friend, “It’s too early in the morning for you.”  
“What? Am I early?” Steven wondered, cocking his head.  
“No,” Sadie, the girl, explained, “He’s just being a grump. What can I get for you?”  
Steven turned to me. “Did you want a donut, Lapis?” he asked me. I smiled warmly at him.  
“No, Steven,” I replied politely, “You don’t have to get me anything.”  
After Steven had ordered, we left the shop, and I followed him over to a bench where he sat down to eat. As he did, I stared out at the ocean, thinking to myself. I wondered where Jasper was right now. Was she hunting me down, or was she watching me right now, waiting for her opportunity to strike? I must have looked distressed, because Steven looked at me with a worried look.  
“Lapis? Are you ok?” he asked me.  
His voice jostled me from my thoughts. “Huh? Oh, um, I’m fine,” I replied, lying through my teeth, “I just have a lot on my mind right now.”  
As Steven stared at me, I felt like his eyes were staring straight into my thoughts. He frowned at me. “You’re thinking about Jasper, aren’t you?”  
I let out a long breath. “Boy, I can’t hide anything from you, can I?” I said, trying to have a spark of humor in my voice.  
Steven scooched closer to me and gently touched my hand. “What happened to you?” he wondered, “I know you said you didn’t want to talk about it, but maybe it will make you feel better?”  
“Nothing will make me feel better,” I said quietly. I felt Steven gently press against me, and I felt comforted by the warmth of his body. I sighed a little and decided I should tell him.  
“Steven, do you know what rape is?” I asked him. He fidgeted nervously.  
“Well, sort of,” he muttered, “I mean, I know the definition. But I don’t really know much about it. I know it’s something really bad.”  
“It is,” I agreed, “It’s what Jasper did to me.”  
I couldn’t bear to look at Steven, as I didn’t want to suddenly burst into tears. But I could feel his gaze on me, and I turned away from him. I startled a little when he suddenly and gently wrapped his arms around me.  
“Lapis, I’m so sorry,” he said sadly, “I had no idea.”  
“It’s not your fault,” I told him, “I shouldn’t have left the barn. I knew Jasper was still out there. I was foolish to go out on my own.”  
“But you shouldn’t have to be afraid to be on your own every once in a while!” Steven insisted. “You shouldn’t have to keep looking over your shoulder to make sure Jasper isn’t there! You should be able to fly whenever you want!”  
I didn’t respond. I shouldn’t be afraid, but I was. I didn’t ever want to experience that again. What she did to me. And I didn’t feel safe at the barn anymore. Who was going to help me there? Peridot? I had to stay somewhere where I was safe. Somewhere with water that I could use to defend myself. I could only be with Steven.  
As my thoughts drifted, I suddenly felt Steven lean against me. I finally turned and looked at him and saw him staring up at me with wide eyes. I tried to fight back the tears I felt coming to my eyes.  
“Sorry,” I murmured, “It’s just so hard to be optimistic. You don’t know what it’s like, to be taken advantage of like that. I was powerless against her. I’m not even sure how I got away. But I know she’s going to find me again. She won’t stop.”  
I didn’t say anymore as Steven sat up and looked at me. He leaned up and gently kissed my mouth, and I felt his warmth and love spread through me. I felt myself melt, and I gave up, and gently kissed him back. We sat there for a while, kissing each other, and shielding ourselves from the world. I loved how Steven kissed me. He was always soft and kind, unlike Jasper, who seemed to always kiss me as hard as possible. I had totally blocked out everything around us, nothing mattered to me at the moment except Steven.  
When Steven finally pulled, I felt reluctant to stop. But when I looked at him, his eyes were shining, and he had a small smile on his face.  
“You’re not powerless, Lapis,” he said, “You’ve got me. I won’t let Jasper take advantage of you anymore.”  
He leaned over and hugged me, and I hugged him back. I could feel his heart beating. I heard him whisper. “I’ll protect you. My Lapis.”


	5. Long Shadows

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steven hangs out with Connie and starts having some conflicting feelings. How will that work out? And is there anyone who can help him?

When we got back to the Beach House, I was surprised to see Connie sitting on the steps waiting for me. She looked up when she heard us approach and her face lit up. I felt Lapis stop beside me and I stopped as well as Connie got up and ran over to us.  
“Steven! There you are!” Connie greeted, “The Gems said you had gone out for a while.” She smiled when she saw Lapis. “Lapis! You’re awake! I’m so glad!”  
“Thank you,” Lapis replied in a quiet voice. I could feel a wave of tension coming from her, and it took me a moment to figure out why. Connie didn’t seem to notice, though.  
“Sorry I didn’t call you,” I said to her, “It sort of slipped my mind.”  
“That’s all right,” Connie dismissed, “I was hoping, if it’s all right with you, if you could help me finish my project. We took so many pictures yesterday, and I wanted your help sorting through them all.”  
I grinned. “I’d love to help!” I replied. I was about to run off, but I quickly caught myself and looked up at Lapis. She was staring down at me with wide eyes, but gave me a tiny nod. I felt relief swell inside me. She was ok.  
I ran with Connie back to my house, glancing back briefly to see Lapis slowly following us. When we got inside, Amethyst was eating stuff from the fridge, but other than that the house was empty. We sat down at the table and Connie took out her camera and a binder filled with pictures.  
“I went a little overboard with the pictures,” Connie admitted sheepishly.  
“That’s ok,” I told her, “That just means we have more fun to sort through!”  
Connie giggled as she opened the binder and started flipping through it. We were about to start sort through them, when I heard the front door open, and I saw Lapis walk in. I watched out of the corner of my eye as she silently walked past us up the stairs to my bed.  
I turned to Connie. “Um, can you excuse me for just a moment?” I requested, “I just want to make sure Lapis is ok.”  
“Of course,” Connie replied as she flipped through her binder.  
I nodded gratefully and quickly raced up the stairs to where my “room” was. Lapis was sitting quietly on the corner of my bed, staring out the window. I sat down next to her and put a hand on her arm.  
“Hey, are you ok?” I asked her quietly.  
“I’m fine,” she replied, not looking at me. I looked over to where Connie was waiting for me at the table, then looked back at Lapis.  
“Are you… jealous of Connie?” I wondered.  
Lapis let out a long sigh. “I really can’t hide anything from you, can I?” she said, a small spark of humor in her voice, “Yeah, I guess I am a little jealous of her. And I hate that I am. She’s a very nice girl, thinking of others, and wanting to include me in your activities. I can see why you like her so much.”  
I felt myself blush. Were my feelings for Connie that obvious? I briefly wondered if Connie could tell as well. Then, with a panicked thought, I wondered if she and the Gems could tell my feelings for Lapis. I shook the thoughts from my mind.  
“Please don’t be jealous of her, Lapis,” I said, “I love you, and Connie is one of my best friends. I would really like it if you could try to get along with her.”  
Lapis smiled gently at me and leaned over and rested her cheek on the top of my head. “I’ll try for you, Steven,” she replied.  
I smiled and hugged her. “Thanks, Lapis,” I said. I stood up, gave her a quick kiss on the cheek, then walked back down stairs to rejoin Connie.  
“Sorry about that,” I apologized as I sat down.  
“That’s all right,” Connie replied kindly, giving me a warm smile, “Is Lapis ok?”  
I looked up to where Lapis was still staring out the window. Then I looked back at Connie. “I think she will be,” I answered.

…

As I slept that night, wrapped in Lapis’ arms, I couldn’t help but feel worried. About what, I had very little doubt. I had conflicting feelings. Strong conflicting feelings. I was in love with Lapis. But I was also in love with Connie. How could I ever pick between them? I could never choose one over the other. And I felt that by showing love for one I was betraying the other. I sighed heavily, unsure of what to do.  
“Steven,” someone whispered suddenly, and I startled. I looked at Lapis and saw that she was asleep. Then I looked beside me and saw Garnet crouching by my bed, staring at me.  
“Garnet!” I gasped as quietly as I could, “You scared me!”  
“Sorry,” she said, “I woke you because I could tell you needed some advice.”  
I was about to ask how she knew that, when I remembered. Future vision. “I guess I could use some advice,” I whispered. As gently as I could, I wormed my way out of Lapis’ arms, careful not to wake her. Then I followed Garnet downstairs and sat next to her on the couch.  
“I’m not really sure how to say this,” I sighed.  
“You’re in love with Lapis Lazuli,” Garnet said for me, “And you’re in love with your friend Connie.”  
I knew Garnet already knew my feelings, but somehow I was still a little surprised. “Future vision?” I asked.  
“That,” Garnet replied, “And I saw you and Lapis kissing on the beach.”  
I could feel my face getting warmer as my cheeks turned red. That was supposed to be a private moment! I looked at Garnet and saw her staring at me with an amused grin.  
“Do Pearl and Amethyst know?” I wondered, wanting to change the subject a little.  
“I’m pretty sure they know about your feelings for Connie,” she replied, “Not to be rude, but you two are kind of obvious with how much you like each other.”  
I felt myself blushing again.  
“However, they don’t know about your feelings for Lapis,” she continued, “I don’t think Amethyst really suspects anything, and Pearl just thinks you’re looking out for a friend.”  
There was a great feeling of relief inside me. For now, I didn’t really want Pearl and Amethyst to know I was in love with Lapis. I’m not entirely sure why, but I felt it would be better if I told them myself.  
“I don’t know what to do, Garnet,” I sighed, getting back to the problem, “I love them both, but I could never choose one over the other. Lapis already knows how I feel about Connie, and I guess that’s fine because I can discuss it with her. But I can’t even imagine how Connie would react if I told her about my feelings for Lapis! I can’t help but worry that Connie might think that I don’t love her, or I’m betraying her or something.”  
Garnet put a gentle hand on my shoulder. “I know you’re frustrated by all of this,” she said, calmly, “I know you feel like there’s no solution to your problem. And the truth is, there might not be, at least no simple solution. But, remember this, Steven: you’re only fourteen. You have your entire life ahead of you. No one, not Lapis, not Connie, would expect you to make such a huge decision at such a young age.”  
I couldn’t help but smile as Garnet continued. “And you know those two. I know they both love you. They will understand anything you tell them. As long as it comes from your heart. And Steven, one last word of advice: NEVER lie to them.”  
“Thanks, Garnet,” I said, hugging her, “You always know what to say.” I went back up to my bed and snuggled myself into Lapis’ arms again. As I fell back to sleep, I decided to tell Connie about Lapis and me tomorrow. And then I would see what would happen.

…

I felt something inside me as I dreamt that night. Something I had never really felt before. Lust. A powerful, dangerous lust for… something. Everything was dark. I couldn’t see anything, I could only feel things. I wanted something, or someone. I realized it was a person that I wanted. Why did I feel this way? I was hunting this person, I wanted to be with them, to keep them away from everyone else. I wanted them to myself. But who was this person? And was I even myself? Could I possibly be in someone else’s mind?  
An image slowly came into my mind. I felt my heart race. It was Lapis. I was pursuing Lapis. And in an instant, I knew who’s mind I was in. The world became clear and I could suddenly see. I could see where she was. And she was dangerously close.  
I woke in a panic, panting and sweating. It was Jasper. I had been in the mind of Jasper; she was still out there and she was still hunting Lapis. In fact, if what I saw was true, she was much closer than I thought she would be. Shivering, I pressed myself against Lapis and wrapped my arms tightly around her.  
I swore I wouldn’t let Jasper hurt her anymore. And I intended to keep that promise.

...

When I woke in the morning, my eyes were still closed, and I felt very tired. But for some reason I could also hear Lapis breathing heavily, and I quickly opened my eyes, expecting to see her staring in terror at Jasper. But when I looked at her, she was staring at me.  
“Is there something wrong?” I asked, worriedly.  
“Yes,” she replied, breathlessly, “You’re squeezing all the air out of me.”  
I blinked at her and suddenly realized just how tightly my arms were around her. Embarrassed, I let go of her with a muttered apology. “I had a really bad dream last night,” I told her. She nodded in understanding.  
“What was it about?” she wondered.  
I was about to lie and make something up, to spare her the horrible truth, but then I remembered Garnet’s warning from last night: NEVER lie. I sighed heavily.  
“I was in Jasper’s mind,” I explained. I felt her tense up beside me. “She was hunting you, and lusting after you.” I shivered. “I’ve never felt what lust feels like, but if that’s what it’s like, I never want to experience it again. But that’s not the worst part, Lapis. She was really nearby. She’s really close to Beach City, and getting closer.”  
Lapis stared at me and slowly sat up. I sat up with her, watching her anxiously. I didn’t know what to say. I wanted to comfort her, but at the moment, I felt like I shouldn’t touch her. She didn’t say anything, but stared blankly out into the room. I wondered if she was thinking back to what Jasper had done to her. I didn’t want her to think about that, I wanted her to feel safe with me.  
I carefully leaned over and gently hugged her, slipping my arms around her waist. She slowly and silently wrapped her arms around me, and I leaned into her, resting my head on her chest. I felt her begin to softly tremble.  
“Lapis,” I whispered to her, “Please don’t think about Jasper. I promise, as long as we’re together, she won’t be able to hurt you.”  
She didn’t reply, but lowered her head and gently kissed my forehead. “I love you, Steven,” she whispered to me.  
“I love you, Lapis,” I answered, breathing softly as I relished the warmth of her lips on my forehead.


	6. Oceans Apart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steven has a talk with Connie about his conflicting feelings, and then he and Lapis spend some time together. But something is lurking nearby...

I went over several times in my head what I wanted to say to Connie. I was going to meet her on the boardwalk near Funland. I wanted to tell her exactly what was going on; I didn’t want to treat her like an idiot, because I knew she wasn’t one. If I tried to lie to her, she would catch on instantly. I spotted Connie sitting on a bench, waiting for me, and swinging her legs. Taking a deep breath, I built up my courage and walked over to her. She looked up and spotted me.  
“Hey Steven!” she greeted excitedly. I waved at her and sat down next to her.  
“Um, Connie,” I said, deciding to get straight to the point, “I have something I need to tell you. It’s really important.”  
Connie looked at me with surprised eyes. “Um, ok,” she replied, “What did you want to tell me?”  
I took another deep breath. “I want you to know what I’m about to say doesn’t at all change the way I feel about you,” I assured her, “I just feel you deserve to know.” I paused to gather my strength. “Lapis is in love with me, and I’m in love with her.”  
Connie stared at me, eyes wide, and I could tell she was struggling to think of what to say. “Wow. Um, all right,” she said, stuttering a bit, “I mean, if that’s how you feel about her, I guess I shouldn’t say anything. I just always thought that… you know…”  
“Wait, Connie,” I interrupted before she could draw the wrong conclusion, “I love Lapis. But the thing is, I love you too.” Connie’s eyes widened even further.  
“Really?” she asked, and I could hear her breath catch in her throat.  
I nodded, a little shocked that I had spoken my feelings so freely. I swallowed nervously. “I do love you, Connie,” I continued, “I really don’t want you to think otherwise. But right now, I have to take care of Lapis. She needs me.”  
Connie cocked her head at me. “Why? What happened to her?” she wondered.  
I started shifting nervously in my seat, and couldn’t meet her gaze. She frowned and tried to look me in the face. “Steven? What happened to Lapis?”  
I took a shuddering breath. “Jasper… did something horrible to her,” I finally replied, “Even thinking it makes me feel awful. But Jasper hurt her so bad, she’s afraid to be on her own. I’m the only one she feels safe around.”  
Connie stared sadly at me, but I wasn’t done. “I don’t know if Lapis would want me telling you all of this,” I continued, “But I really wanted you to know everything. I felt like I was double crossing you by not telling you.”  
There was a moment’s silence as Connie stared at me. Then, to my surprise, she leaned over and kissed me deeply. I didn’t know how to react at first, but slowly I relaxed and kissed her back. When she pulled away from me, she was smiling.  
“You don’t have to feel that way, Steven,” she told me, “I don’t want you to feel like you’re betraying me or anything. I love you too, and it’s enough for me to know that you feel the same way about me.”  
Immense relief welled up inside me. “Thanks, Connie,” I sighed, hugging her, “I knew you would understand. You’re the best.”  
We hugged for a moment more before Connie pulled away. “Go look after Lapis, Steven,” she said, “She needs you.”

…

I don’t know where Steven had gone, but needless to say, I was relieved when he returned. Not that I expected Jasper to just barge into Steven’s house or anything, but I felt better when he was around. I didn’t question him when he got back, but I was immediately by his side. He smiled up at me as I walked over to him.  
“Hey, Lapis!” he greeted me, “Sorry, I left you alone.”  
“It’s all right,” I quickly replied, “I was asleep anyway. And you don’t need to be with me every moment of the day, you know. I understand if you want to spend time alone or with your friends.”  
Steven gently pressed against me. “I don’t mind,” he insisted, “I like spending time with you, Lapis.”  
I smiled down at him, as he gently took my hand. He led me outside, and I was curious as to where he was taking me. He took me down to the shore and sat down, and I sat down next to him. I felt calm fill my body as Steven gently leaned against me. We stared out at the ocean together, and I felt all of my worries melt away.  
Sighing with content, I fell backwards and lay on my back on the sand. I felt Steven do the same next to me. I stared up at the clouds as they gently floated overhead. I let out a breath of air.  
“It feels good to just relax and not have to worry about anything sometimes,” I noted out loud, “Being with you, I could just forget about all of my troubles.”  
I couldn’t see Steven’s expression, but I felt him move closer to me. He suddenly sat up and looked down at me.  
“I’m glad you’re feeling better,” he said, “It makes me feel bad when you’re miserable. Like I’m doing something wrong.”  
His statement made me frown. “Steven, you’re not doing anything wrong,” I told him, “I’m the one who needs to try harder. I feel like I’m dragging you down.”  
Steven smiled gently at me. “Let’s just agree that neither of us are sad when we’re together,” he said, “All right?”  
I couldn’t help but smile up at him. “All right,” I replied.  
He leaned down and gently kissed me. I sighed slightly at his touch, and how soft his lips were. I kissed him back, pushing up against him. I didn’t want him to stop but, he suddenly sat up, and stared off into distance. Confused, I sat up and looked behind me, trying to figure out what he was staring at. But I saw nothing.  
“What’s wrong, Steven?” I asked, concerned.  
It was a moment before he said anything. “Sorry,” he replied, “I thought I heard something. But… it was nothing.”  
I felt a tremble run through my body, and I wondered if Steven was telling me the truth. Before I could question him though, he laid himself on top of me, and I couldn’t help but wrap my arms around him. I still felt nervous, but as always Steven’s warmth and love comforted me. I decided to put it out of my head and just enjoy my time with Steven.  
We laid on the beach for a couple of hours, staring as the waves rolled onto the shore.

…

I don’t know why I let her go. Maybe I felt pity for her as she cried out. But now I regretted it. I had to get her back. I couldn’t be without her.  
I made my way to the human city, as I knew my Lapis would be there. I knew Rose, or “Steven” as she insisted on calling it, would have taken her there. I could remember where the base was; I suspected that’s where they were hiding.  
As I didn’t want to bring up any alerts, I kept to the outskirts of the city, trying to catch a glimpse of my Lapis. I spotted her once, with the Steven by her side. This was going to be tricky. I had been planning to try to get her when she was alone, but if Steven was going to be with her every moment of the day, then I would have to try something else.  
I followed them around as stealthily as I could, trying to think of a plan. Perhaps I could lure her away? I watched them on the beach, kissing and sharing a romantic moment. I felt my rage building up inside me.  
But just when I thought I would explode with anger, a brilliant idea came to me. If this “Steven” is what Lapis wanted, then fine. I would give her just what she wanted.

**Author's Note:**

> Please leave a review! Constructive criticism is always welcome!


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